kay's thoughts..

I used to have more energy than my body could handle, now I have more body than my energy can handle.

It's easier to deal with reality on its terms, than delusion on my own.
i seek humility not humiliation, just as i seek to be humble not humbled
when you decide to take on the truth, you have to take on the whole truth including past mistakes... and when you finally come to your truth, don't expect anyone else to come to theirs
the people who can’t say no, attract the people who can’t hear no
the people who care about your feelings will rarely care much about your behaviors. the people who care about your behaviors will rarely care much about your feelings.
aspire to what you admire
I give unconditional love with the expectation it will come back when i need it, but what i usually get back is criticism instead
solutions have "expiration date's", & epiphanies have a "best if used by".
yesterday's solutions are often today's problems.
disclaimers and policies serve the same function as underwear. they're both designed to cover your ass in case shit happens.
things aren't looked at as isolated incidents but potential future liabilities
it's the devil's job to destroy my life & try to get me to blame god for it.
everyone's version of heaven is different, & few are actually realistic ...
no one can insult you. they can only point out what you're worried about yourself being or becoming
just because it was your revelation doesn't make it the gospel
god lives in your heart, but the devil lives in your head. if you feed one too much of your energy, it'll corrupt the other.
the light at the end of the tunnel may just be the next delivery room
what mainly kills a relationship is the continued focus on the negative aspects of it. what saves it is the devotion of thought and action to forging new positives.
fairness is a matter of perspective
there are can-do people & can't-do people. some people encourage, some people discourage.
you can never get back what you've thrown away, but you can always get rid of it
always try to maintain composure & be polite, avoid seeking the approval of others
kids push you beyond the limit of what you can take to learn how to react when they're pushed beyond theirs
hints are rarely an effective communication tool. they are, however, highly effective for creating misunderstandings and disappointment
if you can't blend in, stand out!
expectation breeds disappointment, disappointment breeds frustration, frustration breeds anger, anger breeds resentment, resentment breeds breakdown of communication
blame robs us of energy for solution
energy spent in regret is better spent in repair
attention can be an intoxicant or a repellant, depending on who's giving it
you can't do someone else's laundry just once. the first time or two it's appreciated, after that it's expected
a lie without malicious intent is usually just a mistake
change can be hard. not changing can be harder
you can't control what you like and can only hope to have control over your indulgence of it
if you've been around the block too many times, have a better look at the signs on your road
the price of asking why, is knowing why
the more you raise your voice, the less someone will really hear what you're saying. they'll just react to the behavior
it takes all your energy & effort to keep your head above water. when it gets to be too much is when you find where your bottom is.. if you keep going, you will find a deeper bottom
the load you bear is in direct proportion to how much burden you're willing to pick up
i would rather pull my own weight than push it around
the future is unpredictable
no matter how hard you try to iron things out, some wrinkles will remain and if you're not careful, you could be adding some new creases
the greatest cities in the world are built on the ashes of previous ones
if there's no good reason for it, it's often a control issue
I'm not walking away from my problems. i'm walking away from an angry person telling me about my problems
people who take all the credit when things go right rarely accept blame when things go wrong. people who accept blame when things go wrong rarely take all the credit when things go right
work on rewiring your responses to being provoked from anger or shame, to compassion
arguments with people who have control issues are one sided... theirs!
people with control issues rarely hear explanations, they hear excuses
just because it's your way, doesn't make it the right way.
people with control issues will often try to overwhelm you so that when you do become upset, they will not only blame you for your problems, they will blame you for theirs as well
if only one is fighting it's not a competition.
it's not that i avoid confrontation, i want to avoid the retaliation that comes from the misunderstanding of my intent
if you wonder why i've left the decision to you, it's because i think i'm more likely to back up yours than you are to back up mine
my need for validation is often mistaken as a need for attention
PERFECTION: difficult to attain, impossible to maintain, & leaves no room for improvement
if everything you say is right, what's left?
progress takes an inordinate amount of time and energy to implement, while regress is quite easily reimplemented
instead if complain & blame, re-frame
it sucks being stuck in the middle of the ocean without land in sight. it helps me to just pick a direction to point the boat and just start rowing. if it was the wrong way, i'll know faster
those who bring excitement rarely bring stability. those who bring stability rarely bring excitement. many don't bring either, few can bring both
some people think they're better than everyone, some people think they're worse than everyone. neither are close to correct
the two things i always wanted to be good at were lip & mind reading. i'm horrible at both, but i've met a few people who can lip read.
when you go against the current, you wind up butting heads with alot of main-streamers, like when you go against the grain, you're likely to pick up more splinters
be careful of where your focus goes, also be aware of where the focus of others goes
those that lavish others with excessive kindness, often treat themselves with excessive disdain. those that lavish others with excessive disdain, often treat themselves with excessive kindness, or ever more excessive disdain.
can-do people help to figure out how you CAN do something. can't-do people will tell you why you CAN'T do something
taking things personally is like finding ways to justify how you feel about yourself, through others
try not to visit in others the feelings you don't like yourself
when you say things about others, you're saying something about yourself too. duh
it takes only a moment for injury, but it takes time to heal
it's harder to cry while you're laughing,
there's far less money in cures
peace & anxiety rarely share the same head space
love is what pours out of a broken heart
many people expect children to act like adults, but many adults often act like children
if you're happy with your own choices, what's there to complain about in the choices of others? their situation was different.
making decisions is like having kids... once you make them, you have to live with them - or pay for them
who has the right to tell me i'm wrong
long term species survival is the same as a stock portfolio, the key is diversity & anomaly
i'm capable of quality, or quantity, but rarely both as much as i want-to-be.
kind people are not weak, and weak people are not kind.
confidence is a sign of self-assurance. over-confidence is a sign of insecurity
to lower stress, remove 2 things from your life. JUDGEMENT & EXPECTATION. yeah, right
a lot of my frustration comes from the expectation that others will do as i would have done, or i would have had them do because that's the way I was raised to
a snake sheds it's skin and grows by being stuck in between a rock and a hard place
it's frustrating to expect others to attain the level of perfection you've set for yourself
too much work on the facade leaves the inside empty
anger burns red, acted on anger burns white. its easier to cool down red. white will run it's course
avoid asking simple questions of complicated people
avoid arguments with people who like to argue
don't try to fight it, try to guide it
bad things usually don't happen in ones, they happen at once
you can't beat the attitude out of anyone, its already been beaten into them
irony loves when we laugh with it
some people live their lives by other people's standards, some people expect others to live by theirs.
rules are not meant to be broken but they are meant to be challenged to reassess their current validity.
you can force people to change behaviors, but unless you address the feelings that caused them as well, they're likely to return
Thoughts and feelings are like stray cats, if you feed them, they'll be back. Once they're there, they're difficult to get rid of.
shed your tears, then shred your fears
less worrier, more warrior
if santa has two reindeer, & only one does the work, they'll all go in circles
a narcissist is just a sociopath, with a heart.
today i will do the best i can, & hope it was good enough. some days it will be, some days it won't.
when my best isn't good enough for someone, is where my issues stop, & where their's begin. I can only do something about my own issues.
a stewardess taught me that if i dont put the air mask on myself first when the pressure drops, i won't be able to help anyone else, & we'll all suffer.
your thinking is limited to your knowledge, but your imagination isn't
people who try to be everyone's best friend, are usually their own worst enemy
people too often put a cast on a cut & a band-aid on a severed arm
some people find too much forgiveness for others & not enough for themselves, some people find too much forgiveness for themselves and not enough for others
i have many fine qualities... time & money management are not among them.
staring is often caused by using all your brain's power to work on a problem that doesn't have resolve at that moment
if your wondering why you're overwhelmed, ask your computer to run a dozen programs at once & watch what happens. it's what we expect of our brains
may the wonders never cease, & the ceasers never wonder.
loneliness comes from within, not from without
BOREDOM is the energy we asked our bodies for, just not when we asked for it
difficult people & situations are a catalyst for a deeper level of peace, or anxiety... whichever i choose.
learn war, practice peace
if everyone else is the asshole, it was probably you
the blameless tend to blame the most
girls start out wanting to be thought of as nice, but they have a wild side. boys start out wanting to be thought of as wild, but they have a nice side. come about 40, the roles switch.
GIRL TACTICS: to get someone to do what you want them to, but let them think it was their idea.
GUY TACTICS: if you screw it up enough times, THEY'LL STOP ASKING YOU TO DO IT!
find out what someone likes about themself & tell them they're great at
the more you raise your voice the more people will stop listening to you and start reacting to
knowledge is not power, it's empowerment. and knowledge without implementation is powerlessness
excess worry burns up the very energy we needed for what we were worried about in the first place.
no worries, no hurries, chance of flurries
there's a fine line in between feeling like a pain in the ass, & feeling forgotten. it's the same line as the one in between assertion & aggression lol
i don't often feel treated like i'm as good as the last thing i've done right, I feel like i'm being treated like i'm as bad as the last thing i've done wrong.
i'm often seen as the adversary perceived rather than the ally intended
i see the need for structured people, but they rarely see the need for me
be careful about judging books by their covers. they may slam shut on the finger you're pointing
people that care about people's feelings rarely care about their behaviors. people that care about people's behaviors rarely care about their feelings
some people take other people's worth in the hopes of restoring the worth that was taken from them, but it only creates more people who feel worthlessness
people who have trouble saying no usually attract the people who have trouble hearing no
I talk to myself because I think I'm more likely to remember what I've heard, than what I've thought
be wary of those unable to say sorry or thank you without conviction
care more about what your family thinks and cares about, than what the neighbors think and care about
the only way you're being taken advantage of when you give from your heart, is if you expected something in return to refill it
having kids is like being from planet Krypton. you pack their capsule full of everything you think they'll need for , send them off into a different world than you knew & hope, or expect, they will become Superman.